Hey there, friend.
Pull up a chair, grab your coffee—or your coconut water, if you’re nursing a hangover—and let me tell you about my latest stroke of genius (or insanity, depending on how you look at it): I just launched a memecoin on Dogeparty called $LIQUORBAN.
Yes, really.
Now before you roll your eyes or ask me what kind of substances I’ve been ingesting (none, thanks to COMELEC), hear me out. There’s a story here. One with a little bit of politics, a touch of degeneracy, and a dash of Dumaguete street drama. So let’s dive in.
Why I Made a Token Called $LIQUORBAN
So unless you’ve been living under a rock—or in Siquijor without signal—you probably know there’s a two-day liquor ban going on in the Philippines right now (May 11 and 12). It’s all part of the Commission on Elections’ brilliant plan to keep things “peaceful and orderly” while over 68 million people line up in the scorching sun to elect nearly 18,000 politicians, most of whom have names like Bong, Chiz, or Leni-with-an-i.
https://dogeparty.tokenscan.io/asset/LIQUORBAN
Now, I’m not here to comment on the democratic process. I’m just here to make jokes and tokens. So I thought, what better way to commemorate this sacred national moment than by minting a supply of exactly 999 tokens called $LIQUORBAN?
Why 999? Because 1,000 would be trying too hard. And because I’m a legendary degen, that’s why.
Also, have you ever tried launching a Dogeparty token while sober? It’s surprisingly hard. You need to actually read. Like, with your eyes. Which is hard enough without the threat of a mid-summer brownout and the constant hum of your neighbor’s karaoke machine pumping out Michael Bublé at 3 p.m.
The Irony of It All
Let’s pause for a second and just appreciate the sheer Filipino-ness of the situation. The government bans liquor so people won’t get into fights during the election. Which sounds reasonable until you realize half the voters are already mad without the alcohol.
And then there’s the fact that politicians can still hand out cold hard cash, frozen chicken, and sacks of rice—but heaven forbid you crack a San Mig Light while waiting to vote. Nope. That’s where they draw the line.
So I did what any true digital artist and blockchain clown would do: I turned that moment into a collectible token. Think of it as a historical artifact. A blockchain-based middle finger to moral panic. Something you can show your grandkids one day when they ask, “Grandpa, what was it like when Web3 met barangay politics?”
But Wait, There’s More…
Now you might be thinking, “Nutildah, surely this isn’t the dumbest thing you’ve seen in Dumaguete?”
Oh sweet summer child. Let me tell you about the time I saw a sexpat throw a hissy fit because he couldn’t bring his “girlfriend” back to his hotel room.
Picture this: A sweaty, sunburned foreigner waddling into the lobby with a lady so obviously working the night shift that even Stevie Wonder could’ve clocked it. The doorman, being a pro, quietly pulls him aside and tells him the front desk needs a word.
So he walks up, all puffed up like a rooster, and they gently explain it’s against hotel policy to bring in, uh, “guests.” And that’s when the floodgates open.
“I paid for this room!”
“You’re going to lose my business!”
“I’ll never come back here again!”
At this point, the staff didn’t even flinch. They just smiled and said, “Sir, that’s fine. We do not want your type. We’ll escort you to your room so you can collect your belongings. Please leave.”
It was the most Filipino way of telling someone to screw off I’ve ever seen. Polite, firm, and devastatingly effective.
Moral of the story? If you’re gonna be a degen, be a charming one. Not the kind who screams at minimum-wage workers because your sugar baby couldn’t come upstairs.
What Even Is Dogeparty?
Quick intermission for my normie friends.
Dogeparty is a token layer on top of Dogecoin, similar to how Bitcoin has Counterparty (think Rare Pepes, Spells of Genesis, and other collectibles). It’s like putting stickers on your skateboard or doodles on your high school notebook, except your notebook is the Dogecoin blockchain and your stickers are worth real money to people who wear Crocs unironically.
So yeah, $LIQUORBAN lives there. Alongside other classics like $FARTS, $RABIES, and $TITS. It’s a party, and everyone’s invited. Unless you’re that guy from the hotel lobby. You can stay home.
Degens Gonna Degen
If you’ve followed me on Bitcointalk or read my past ramblings, you already know I’ve got a soft spot for the absurd. Memecoins. Blockchain graffiti. Trading Solana shitcoins at 3 a.m. with 7 tabs open and no pants on.
It’s not about getting rich. It’s about the art. The culture. The utter lack of adult supervision.
$LIQUORBAN isn’t gonna moon. It’s not backed by VC money. It has no utility, no roadmap, and no Discord full of overcaffeinated teenagers yelling “WAGMI.” And that’s the beauty of it.
It exists just because. It’s a joke, a moment, a snapshot of life during a liquor ban in a country where half the population doesn’t drink and the other half drinks too much.
Final Thoughts (and a Mild Hangover)
So yeah, I made a coin called $LIQUORBAN. It’s real. It’s on Dogeparty. You can look it up, mint it, collect it, or ignore it. Totally up to you.
But maybe, just maybe, let it remind you that not everything has to be so serious. Especially not during elections. Especially not during May. Especially not when it’s a hundred degrees outside and you’re being told you can’t have a beer.
And if you see a sexpat screaming in the lobby because he couldn’t smuggle his date upstairs, just smile. The world’s full of characters. The least we can do is laugh at them (and maybe mint a token about it later).
Call to Action
If you’ve ever minted a meme token, got denied alcohol during a liquor ban, or just enjoy a good sexpat meltdown story, drop a comment below. Or find me on X (formerly Twitter) @nutildah and show me your dumbest Dogeparty token.
And remember: when life bans your liquor, mint a token instead.
Stay hydrated, stay weird, and for the love of Satoshi, don’t be that guy in the lobby.
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Nutildah
Certified Degen, Token Clown, and Your Friend on the Blockchain
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