So this happened. I’m sipping my morning brew, minding my own digital business, when I see a post pop up that goes:
“What we should really check is who the hell are you? An impersonator disguising as someone else using the person’s identity to slander the person. We all know who Nutildah is and his handle is @dogermint.”
Wait. Hold up. Rewind.
WHAT?
I nearly spit my coffee on my keyboard. You know those moments where you’re caught between laughing and being genuinely confused? Like, am I in a prank show? Is Ashton Kutcher behind this? Is Punk’d still a thing?
Let’s get one thing straight before we go any deeper into this rabbit hole: I am Nutildah. The one and only. The OG. Not some shadowy crypto ninja out here LARPing as another dude named… me?
I mean, how does that even work? “He’s impersonating someone who doesn’t exist… but also that person is real… but not him… but actually also him.”
Make it make sense.
Chapter 1: Who Even Are You, Bro?
This random internet warrior wants to know “who the hell I am.”
Alright, fine. You wanna know who I am?
I’m the dude who’s been around these crypto streets longer than half of these keyboard detectives have had a MetaMask wallet. I’ve seen Bitcoin under $1. I’ve watched scams evolve from Nigerian prince emails to full-blown DAO rug pulls on Solana. I was there when Vitalik looked like a baby deer on LSD at conferences. And now you’re telling me I’m impersonating… myself?
That’s wild, man. Internet logic at its finest.
Look, just because someone saw a handle once and decided that it represents the “true Nutildah” doesn’t mean anything. What is this, a Harry Potter movie? Am I a horcrux now?
Chapter 2: The Mysterious Case of @dogermint
Now, about this mysterious figure they say I’m impersonating—@dogermint. Let’s get this out of the way real quick:
I’ve never interacted with that handle. I’ve never claimed to be that handle. I’m not obsessed with it, stalking it, mimicking it, or attempting to possess its spirit through ritual sacrifice.
Seriously. I don’t know the guy. I don’t wanna be the guy. I got my own damn style, my own brain, and a digital footprint that screams Nutildah louder than a drunk DJ at 3AM.
It’s like accusing Coca-Cola of impersonating Pepsi. Bro, we’re not even in the same aisle. Why would I downgrade?
Chapter 3: Let’s Talk About Slander
Now here’s where it gets spicy. I’m being accused of slander. As in, defamation. Talking smack. Starting drama. Allegedly, I’m out here slinging mud at this mystery identity and ruining reputations across cyberspace.
Let me ask you something: Where?
Can we get a timestamp? A screenshot? A spicy quote where I said something that wasn’t true?
Nothing?
Exactly.
Because I don’t slander people. I clown on nonsense. I meme. I call out scams. I tell stories. And yeah, I got a bit of a sharp tongue sometimes, but only if you come at me first. I don’t throw the first punch—I just counter with a fireball Hadouken when provoked.
And now I’m the one being slandered—accused of identity theft by folks who probably still use Yahoo Mail.
Chapter 4: Digital Identity is a Mess Anyway
Let’s be real. In 2025, online identity is a hot damn mess. Half the people on X (Twitter, whatever we’re calling it this week) are anonymous cat avatars. Telegram groups are full of usernames like “CryptoDaddy420” and “ETHJesusReturns.”
So when someone says “We all know who Nutildah is,” I gotta laugh. Who’s “we”?? Is there a Nutildah fan club I missed? Do y’all meet on Wednesdays and have matching jackets?
Here’s a wild thought: maybe there can be more than one Nutildah. Or maybe—just maybe—I’m the original, and folks are getting their wires crossed because someone else liked the name and used it after me.
It happens all the time. You think every “Satoshi” on the internet is the Satoshi? You think the guy with @bitcoin on X is the real Bitcoin? Please.
Chapter 5: The Real Flex
You know what the real flex is?
I don’t need to be anyone else. I’ve been through enough in this wild crypto circus to fill a whole damn memoir. Wanna talk about identity theft? I’ve had people try to scam my X handle. I’ve had impersonators clone my profile and DM folks pretending to be me. I’ve fought off bots, trolls, and scammy airdrops promising 1000% APY on chains no one’s heard of.
If anything, I should be asking: “Who the hell are YOU?”
I’ve earned my stripes in this digital jungle. I’ve made it through the bear markets. I’ve held through the rug pulls. I even longed Fartcoin once and somehow came out green.
So yeah. I’m not here to impersonate anyone. I’m just out here being me. And if that threatens your fragile sense of online order, maybe you need a new hobby. Try knitting. It’s peaceful.
Conclusion: Let’s All Chill, Yeah?
Here’s what I think:
If someone really feels like I’ve wronged them, hit me up. DMs are open. Let’s talk like humans. Throwing accusations around like frisbees at Coachella just makes you look silly.
We’re all just weirdos trying to find our place on this planet-sized message board. Some of us make memes. Some of us make money. Some of us just like to stir the pot for fun. But at the end of the day, we’re better off when we don’t turn every interaction into a conspiracy theory.
And if you’re still confused about who Nutildah is?
Just stick around. Read the blog. Check the receipts. The vibes don’t lie.
Your turn.
Ever been falsely accused online? Had someone try to cancel you for being “too real”? Drop a comment below and let’s swap war stories. And if you know the real @dogermint, tell him I said what’s up. Maybe we can co-host a podcast or something. “Two Nutildahs Walk Into a Discord…” Sounds like a hit.
Til next time,
– Nutildah
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